Monkeyshines: Torgo fondles Mike at Comic-Con ’08

[In case it isn't clear, "Monkeyshines" posts are simply short, lighthearted posts with no other purpose than to amuse, distract, and allow me to post stuff that doesn't fit anywhere else... like this awesomely disturbing video I stumbled upon.]

Reminder: Shout Factory’s MST3K set is out now

Yeah, I know I just posted about it a few days ago, and I realize you probably already know about it, but this is big stuff! A new MST3K set! Not made by Rhino! That doesn’t suck! So, you should buy it. Right now. Yes, quickly, go. (And I’m still broke, so enjoy it extra, for me.) This new release also means that MST’s getting some publicity.

With this publicity, comes a fair amount of, as we say on the Internet, “lulz.” I would particularly like to point and laugh at Wired.com. One of their articles touts “MST3K Vets Talk[ing] Fan Faves From New DVD Set,” suggesting an interview in which the cast discusses the contents of the set, right? I believe one answer comes close to vaguely addressing one of the movies. They also think KTMA counts as season one.

I laugh at them.

Meanwhile, Ain’t It Cool News took a break from spoiling things to interview Joel. Entertainment Weekly dug the set, even if they’re nuts for not even mentioning Laserblast. The LA Times had a nice little article on the set/series. And lastly, Satellite News spotted a random few articles. As for McClatchy Newspapers, well…

If only they knew.

New Cinematic Titanic: “Legacy of Blood”

In an email oddly dated October 16th, 2008 (from THE FUTURE!), Josh Weinstein announced that the fourth episode of Cinematic Titanic, and the last from the May recording session, would be titled Legacy of Blood. The 1971 horror flick is about a creepy family who must spend the night in a mansion, in order to recieve their inheritence. Murder and fake blood ensues.

According to its lone IMDB review, it’s “not even worth viewing.” Well, okay then. Should be fun. It comes out on DVD and download-to-burn formats on October 9th. You can see the trailer above.

Legend Films bags $5 million in funding

As you all know, I, like, totally follow all the stock market and business news and stuff, being a multi-millionaire with an internet empire and all. So, I was naturally thrilled to see some Rifftrax-related news coming down the wire.

Legend Films, the parent company of Rifftrax (remember those original Mike Nelson-commentaried DVDs?), has managed to secure $5 million dollars in funding. Now, truth be told, I of course know nothing about business matters and I have no clue where it came from or how they got it, but this can only mean good things for the keepers of Bill, Kevin, and Mike.

According to the press release, the money will primarily be channeled towards their efforts in “3D conversion technology,” or converting 2D film into “stereoscopic” 3D. If this money can bring us a few steps closer to finding the technology to literally make Tor Johnson burst forth from the TV screen, then I support them in their work.

Deep Ape Review: Doomsday Machine

When I reviewed Cinematic Titanic’s first episode, The Oozing Skull, I ran into a bit of a dilemma: It was the first episode of the series, and I didn’t really have anything to compare it to. After all, it would be unfair to compare it to Mystery Science Theater, the pinnacle of movie riffing. So, I simply had to give it an arbitrary grade. Now, however, with three new episodes of Cinematic Titanic on the way, two of which have been released, we can finally start to gain some perspective.

For their second episode, the Titanic crew chose a late-’60s sci-fi clunker that makes it hard to believe that, while it was having its run in theaters, George Lucas was probably starting to dream up Star Wars. (The bulk of the movie was filmed in 1967, but it wasn’t finished until 1972.) Doomsday Machine is a bland, woeful film, salvaged only by… uh, Ruta Lee’s prettiness? Oh, I don’t know.

By now, you probably already own this episode, but in case you don’t, or in case you give a flip about my opinion, hit the jump for my overanalysis of the film and the episode, both of which have 100% fewer hippies than Oozing Skull.

Next Rifftrax: “Pirates of the Caribbean”

There’s been a noticeable lack of Rifftrax coverage here (though not purposefully) — but no longer! The next Rifftrax release has been announced, and it’s the first of the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. As you know, the film is a loose adaptation of the Disney themepark ride, a concept that somehow managed to tickle Jerry Bruckheimer’s brain. It stars many well-liked, attractive people and that guy from the better version of The Office. The Rifftrax is out on September 9th.

You can pick up the DVD here, if you feel so inclined. And while you’re at it, you could pick up a copy of Spiderman 2 here, since Rifftrax Presents just released a commentary for the film (featuring Kevin, Bill, and The Comics Curmudgeon). Go ahead, buy a Rifftrax. Bill needs the money so he can write Meet Dave Again: Beyond Thunderdome. (Bill, you know I love you.)

New trailer for Trace Beaulieu’s “Triptosane”

A proper trailer has shown up for the independent film Triptosane, which features Trace Beaulieu as the voice of a nutty computer. The trailer isn’t too Trace-heavy, but it’s got enough to satisfy your “Trace Beaulieu doing the voice of a snarky machine” needs. I honestly have no idea what the premise of the film is, but it looks Overdrawn At The Memory Bank goofy. And in my book, that’s a good thing.

Language is a little NSFW, so don’t turn the volume up if you’re in a place of worship.

SDCC: Comic-Con Rocks, But You Knew That Already

To those who were unable to attend Comic-Con 2008 this year (Hugh included), I have been asked to report the goings-on to your eagerly awaiting computer screens.

By now, you all know that the DVDs for the 20th Anniversary Box Set are Laserblast, Werewolf, Future War, and First Spaceship on Venus, but did you know that Dr. Forrester has a third lightening bolt streak…in his pants? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Kudos to Trace for sharing that deeply intimate detail! Unfortunately, it made Mike and Kevin try to rip out their own eyeballs.

Anyway, the 20th Anniversary panel was a roaring success, and everyone on the panel seemed to be having a great time. No tension at all, just fun. At the beginning, the lights were dimmed and we were treated to our favorite opening theme song, mishmashed so that all the eras were blended into a single song. Joel’s voice flowed into Mike’s and each of the Bots were given a double Robot Roll Call to cover the cast changes for each one. (Click for more, after the cut.)

Joel: “Wasp Woman,” site redesign on the way

Cinematic Titanic fans recently got a bundle of good news from Joel, in their inboxes. First and foremost is the news that the next episode of Cinematic Titanic will be Roger Corman’s The Wasp Woman, a film which they’ve already performed live a couple of times. The episode will be available on DVD and for download on August 7th.

Beyond that, Joel says that they’re trying to set up a production schedule of releasing a new episode every six weeks, which suggests that we could see the series’ fourth installment as soon as September. And as you can see above, the Cinematic Titanic site will also be getting a much-needed makeover soon. Very sleek.

Lastly, the Cinematic Titanic folks will be embarking on another live show, on November 1st. This one will be in St. Louis, otherwise known as “Once Again, Nowhere Near Hugh.” Anyway, hit the jump for the Wasp Woman trailer.

Next Rifftrax: “The Sixth Sense”

Mike Nelson lives again, as the next Rifftrax release will be a regular, run-of-the-mill commentary — no Rifftrax Presents shenanigans. Along with Bill and Kevin, Mike will be diving head-first into the astoundingly overrated world of M. Night Shyamalan, riffing on his breakthrough film, The Sixth Sense. On June 25th, you’ll have more Bruce Willis and Haley Joel Osmont than you could ever want. Which should be none.

The above video is some Sixth Sense-related mischief from yon Rifftrax Blog.

Ain’t no Comic-Con party like a Rifftrax Comic-Con party

While so many fortunate souls geekgasm to their hearts’ content at the San Diego Comic-Con each year, I sit here on the East Coast sullen and alone. Why, just last year, Rosario Dawson went home alone after the event, all because I didn’t have the finances to make it there. Well, this year’s Comic-Con will surely leave me twice as heartbroken.

Mike, Bill, and Kevin will be appearing at San Diego’s Balboa Theatre on July 26th (the Saturday of Comic-Con weekend, though the events may not necessarily be officially connected) for two live performances of the Plan 9 From Outer Space commentary track. The shows are at 7PM and 9:30PM, and they’ll run you at least $25. Tickets can be purchased from here.

So, we have confirmation that Mike, Kevin, and Bill will be in the Comic-Con area, and Rifftrax has confirmed that they will have a booth there. Shout Factory has also said that they will be at Comic-Con in some capacity, making an announcement about their upcoming MST3K DVDs. Now, all we need is Cinematic Titanic to make an appearance, and we’ve got ourselves the makings of a reunion, dagnabbit!

Next on the remake list: “Manos”… yes, “Manos”

I have a question for you: Did you actually, literally shudder when you read the post’s title? I did, when I read the news. Deep, deep down in my very soul, I shuddered. However, there is one small comfort to all this: Hollywood isn’t behind it. No, they haven’t fallen that far, yet. This is an indie production.

The infamous Manos: The Hands of Fate, arguably- No, screw that. It IS the worst movie of all time. Anyway, it’s being remade by Staticosche Productions. Their teaser trailers — which, while revealing nothing, can be found here — peg it for a winter 2008 release, but I wouldn’t bet on it, myself. And much like the Plan 9 remake, they’re aiming for a serious, scary take on the original story.

There’s no mention of Torgo in the brief synopsis on their MySpace page, but if he’s not in the film, shit will get busted up. Mark my words: Riots in the streets. And there’s still no word on when Hollywood will bottom-out and release their big-budget remake. As you can see above, Brad Pitt would make one sexy perverted mangoat. Which is, incidentally, just the way Angelina likes ‘em.

Next Rifftrax Presents: “Alien”

And the hits just keep on coming. Bill and Kevin will be tackling the original Alien, for the next entry in the unMiked Rifftrax Presents series. On June 10th, you’ll be able to download the commentary and enjoy riff after delicious riff about Sigourney Weaver’s tiny white underpants. As usual, it’s $2.99 and you can pick up the fairly-cheap DVD right here, if you so desire.

Is it my imagination, or is this whole Presents series just a way to give Mike some time off? It’s been a couple of weeks since the last “normal” Rifftrax release, and they’ve been releasing Presents at, more or less, the same rate as they usually release the regular ones. Same product, new packaging, IMO.

Late-Night Thoughts

So, it’s 4AM over here, and I’m looking through the blog’s visitor statistics, before I head to bed. And I notice something. Something that leads me to a question that is sure to puzzle me through ’til the morning: Why is there a sudden influx of people coming to this site via searches for Beowulf and naked pictures of Angelina Jolie?

True enough, my post about Beowulf‘s Rifftrax did mention Angelina Jolie’s CGI nakedness from the film, but why now? Am I missing something? I mean, granted, a naked Angelina Jolie is never something to be scoffed at, but I’m just perplexed as to why the planets having seemingly aligned and driven everyone to search for epic poems and topless adoption fanatics. Is it the work of one sad man, or of many? What happened over the course of the past two days to create this surge?

Shrug. Honestly, this isn’t even one of the weirder ones.

Reminder: Rifftrax Presents’ “X-Files” out today

I don’t make a habit of posting about a single Rifftrax commentary twice, but seeing as though this is my blog and I can do whatever the heck I want, I’m doing it now.

I just thought I’d remind you that today is the day that the Rifftrax Presents commentary for The X-Files: Fight the Future is released. Why am I reminding you? Because I happen to like The X-Files, that’s why. And also because the commentary features Bill Corbett and Mary Jo Pehl taking on the sexy cast full of serious-faced mumblers.

Visit the original post, if you need to track down a copy of the film. You can find a sampler clip up on the product page. (Hey, guys, do you think you could put clips on the YouTube account a little quicker? I’m naked without my embeds.)