Ladies of MST3K #2: Allison Hayes

Way back when I started this blog — darn, missed the anniversary! — one of the first posts I made was about the birthday of Ms. Kathy Ireland. After I made the post, I realized there were a number of women from MST3K movies that I was quite fond of, for one reason or another. And so, the Ladies of MST3K feature was born. I managed one more post but, sadly, it mostly died on the spot.

This past Thursday, however, was the birthday of one of my favorite MST3K dreamgirls, Allison Hayes. So, it’s time for me to break out the defibrillator and pump some life back into this feature. If you click past the cut break, you’ll find some info on Ms. Hayes, as well as my fanboyish droolings. And pictures. Saucy, saucy pictures.

Lindsay With A Whip: Lohan Wants A “Kitten” Remake

Generally speaking, the MST3K LiveJournal community isn’t good for much beyond incessant quoting of Mystery Science Theater dialogue, but occasionally something interesting pops up, like this interesting tidbit: It seems that not only is resident starlet-with-a-deathwish Lindsay Lohan a fan of Ann-Margret’s performance in Kitten With a Whip, but she wants to remake the once-MSTed film. Quoth her:

I look to [Marilyn Monroe] in The Seven Year Itch, just like I look to Ann-Margret in Kitten With a Whip, which is one of my favorite movies, and which I’m actually trying to remake.

I’ve got to be honest with you, I actually don’t think this is a bad idea. I mean, sure, whatever Lohan manages to do with Kitten‘s concept is bound to suck worse than the original (which I actually don’t think is all that bad of a movie; it had me riveted, during my first viewing). Still, I think the story could benefit from a modern adaptation and, if it sucks, it’ll at least be good riff fodder. That Lindsay can sure make a good b-movie. And Lord knows she plays a good floozy.

Ladies of MST3K #1: An Ode To Joy

Due to the fact that I am a hapless male MSTie, I like to take notice when one of the lovely ladies who has appeared in an episode of Mystery Science Theater is either in the news or has a birthday. Today, that honor goes to Joy Harmon.

Ms. Harmon turns 67 today, so congrats to her. In case the picture doesn’t jog your memory (or, uh, anything else), Joy portrayed the memorable “Merrie” in classic MST episode 523, Bert I.’s Village of the Giants. Cinema fans might better remember her for her infamous car-washing scene in Cool Hand Luke, or for just being really darn attractive.

These days, Joy is running her own Burbank-based cake bakery, Aunt Joy’s Cakes, and seems to be doing all right for herself. Here’s hoping you’re doing well, Ms. Harmon. A happy birthday to you!

Our Wild Irish Ireland

This isn’t particularly news, but I find it personally important and necessary to point out that, on this fine 8th of March, our own, dear Kathy Ireland is turning 44. If you should happen to be scratching your heads about how exactly this constitutes MST3K news, then you’ve clearly forgotten Kathy’s Oscar-winning* performance as Wanda Saknussemm, in episode 516, Alien From L.A. You should be ashamed for forgetting.

Pop in a copy of Alien From L.A. (if you’ve got one) and toss back some Guinness (if you’re legal), and join me in saluting America’s finest model/actress/businesswoman named after a European country. Or just watch this.

*only not really